a Hole in the Head
year or so ago I hit my forehead on my car's trunk. I was reaching
in to get something and whacked myself good. I do things like
that. Anyway, after I hit it, a bump came up on my forehead and
stayed there. It didn't go away and didn't get smaller. Finally
when I had my yearly physical my doctor told me I should have
went to Dr. Clark Kent and he biopsied the bump. It came back
as a basal cell cancer, which the woman who called said was the
simplest form of cancer to cure. I clung to that thought. She
set me up an appointment to have it removed via a process called
"Mohing." I thought she said mowing and I could just
see them mowing down my bump like a field of grass.
I showed up to be mowed, Dr. Kent said they were going to take
out a plug in the shape of a pie tin. He said they didn't care
what was in the middle of the pie. They were just concerned about
what was on the sides and the bottom. He said they would make
the cut and then test the tissues. I was to wait in the waiting
room while they tested it all.
mowing didn't hurt at all, and soon I was waiting the results.
In about forty-five minutes to an hour the nurse came out and
said all was clear. That was a great relief. Now all I had to
do was get it sewn up. But before they started sewing, Dr. Kent
handed me a mirror and told me to look at what they cut out. Like
a fool, I did as he said. That is when I almost lost my breakfast.
I mean they had taken a chunk out of my forehead.
they had to squeeze the incision together and sew it up from the
inside out. They took sixteen stitches. All I could think of was
when James Earl Jones told me I looked like Peter Boyle. Peter
Boyle played Frankenstein's monster in the comedy "Young
Frankenstein." Madeline Kahn always called him her little
zipper head. Well now I truly did look like Boyle as a zipperhead.
doctor gave me a prescription for some Darvoset for the pain.
Macho me didn't think I would need it. And I really didn't the
first day. But when the numbness started to wear off for real,
I was begging for that prescription. Luckily, the medication made
me sleepy so I slept through the pain.
get the stitches out in a few days. Meanwhile I have a bandage
on my head that makes me look like I am a World War II casualty.
I have gotten quite a lot of stares and more than my share of
attention. The attention is nice.
this is the last time I will have to have something like this
done. I am going to try to watch out where I am going and not
hit my poor damaged head any more. You know that old saying, "I
need that like I need a hole in my head." Well, I now have
that hole in my head, and I don't need anything else!
K. Cooper was born in South Carolina and now lives in Georgia.
He is familiar to people living in the middle Georgia area as
the "entertainment man" since his entertainment reviews
run in newspapers and are shown on television there. His short
stories have been used as commentary on Georgia Public Radio.
He also keeps active appearing as an after dinner speaker for
has lived an exceptionally interesting life and portions of it
are contained in his first book Journey of a Gentle Southern
Man. The journey continued in Chances and Choices.
first two books, Journey of a Gentle Southern Man
and Chances and Choices, were reprinted and published
by Mercer University Press in July 2004. His third book Halfway
Home was published by Mercer University Press in October
fourth book, released in 2006, is The Bookbinder.
his website, or email
Jackie K. Cooper